The Three-Page Process

We’ve all been there. Nothing in life seems to be going our way: a bad job, an unhealthy relationship, not feeling satisfied, or any combination of the sort. When it is so easy to get stuck in the same story over and over again, and ever so hard to get out.

I found myself in one of these times about six years ago. I had transferred jobs to a lower payrate due to unhappiness, only to find more unhappiness (along with being broke). My relationships were strained with my family due to a family member’s substance abuse problem and the strain it was putting on our living situation. To top it off, my boyfriend was milking me dry.

At my wits end, and feeling like I had no one to turn to, I took out three sheets of paper and began a process that I continually turn to.

If you are currently processing through a hardship, grab three pieces of paper and begin the three-page process:

Page One – What I do not like about my life

The first page is a literal dump. Take your pencil and just write it all down, everything, from the guy that cut you off to the kitchen counter not being big enough. Get all of that emotion out of you. This works best if you are angry or sad because it encourages more honesty. Don’t stop writing until you feel a hint of relief. Leave the self-judgement and blame/shame/guilt out of it. All you have to do is get it OUT!

Once you have wrote down every last thing that has become an obstacle to your happiness, set it aside.

Page Two – What I like (or love) about my life

This page is all of the good things that are in your life, and trust me, there are good things. It can be as simple as having a nice pet to come home to, or that you have had some fun experiences in life. If you find yourself still pissed off, use Page Two to complete Page One, and grab another sheet when you are ready.

Even with all of the negative aspects of my life through my first three page process, I was able to find things that I still loved, like hiking, finishing my education, and cuddling with my cats. You can dig as far back as you need to find the positive.

Page Three – What Opportunities do I see

This page is all about drawing parallels in your life. Using page one and two, you cross check which items can be removed from your dislike list to make room for your like list. You can also brainstorm creative ways to merge your dislikes into your likes. Or you may have a moment of clarity on one of the items, that gives way to a new life for you.

For me, I found that my living situation was causing the root of my pain. My pursuit of finishing my college degree proved to be an opportunity – one that I could change my living situation and even my boyfriend situation by moving away. This was a milestone for me. I was in such a dark place and could only see what was in front of me until I wrote it all out.

This exercise can be as simple as figuring out how to spend your free time, or as deep as planning a move, leaving a career, and starting fresh. Remember, life is what YOU make it. Get your hardships out of the way, becuase I guarantee that happiness is waiting for you.