Our phones and social media have become so ingrained in our lives. The very nature of social media is to trigger the reward center in your brain and to keep your attention span. This works as a new form of addiction, one that can’t easily be overcome by personal boundaries. If you are unable to quit social media, here are some tips for navigating for a smoother experience.

If you missed the throwback to @thejesiandkellishow debut, where Kelli and talked about social media over 3 years ago, here’s my updated list of making your social media work better for you (and your psyche):

Vote with your likes.

By now, most have seen The Social Dilemma. One thing they forgot with AI and algorithms – as a human – you can trick it. Voting with your likes means placing your likes strategically on things you want to see in the future. This takes mindfulness and effort, but can drastically improve your future mood. Start following accounts that remind you of your hobbies, bring joy to you, or are just pretty and mute the rest. Do random searches of things you like to get more into your feed.

Turn off all notifications.

The reward center in your brain LOVES those dings, but this can cloud your mind into living in another reality. You are in control, you choose when you log on, not just when your phone makes a noise.

Take Facebook and Messenger off your phone.

Heck, maybe even take the others off, too. FB and Messenger in particular record audio and track you more than other apps, so if you care about your privacy, do this now.

Bring diversity in.

If you feel your account has become an echo chamber and you are only seeing points of view like your own – add some flair with friends that think differently. This is a tough one, especially if you get triggered, but it is good to remember that not everyone thinks like you (and how boring would life be without variety??).

Research memes before reposting.

Not only will this help you understand issues more, you may also find that you don’t agree with all of what is being said (or maybe it doesn’t fact check to your liking). There’s a bunch of Content Writers out there hired by corporations to create memes, and there is an ability to track a meme’s progress through social media. Buck that system.

Use anything you disagree with (a meme, your Uncle’s post) as a journal writing prompt.

Write down why it triggers you and how it made you feel, along with any values you hold that make you see otherwise. This will help you uncover more knowledge about yourself, something called svadhyaya. Once you get some negative energy out, you may not feel the urge to react to the post, or you may have an articulate post to share with others.

Remember, it’s just noise.

Real life happens, well, in real life – not on a screen. What was born to bring connection may be bringing more isolation and distraction into your life. Try to connect with friends and family offline or in person. Try not attaching to the thoughts of others online. If you read something you don’t agree with, just move on. 

Don’t take what other people post personally.

By practicing non-attachment, you can start to see things for what they are. 2020 has been a traumatic year for most, and psychology teaches us that our fear responses rule our lives in traumatic situations. Try compassion on for size and be a better friend.

Use the yoga.

Something we learn about in yoga is the idea of the “ego-mind” or ahamkara. This portion of the mind asserts itself to say “I am this” or “I am not that.” In yoga philosophy, this portion of the mind needs to be transcended to remember our true nature. Notice when you label yourself and notice how it keeps you separate from others. The more we classify and stereotype ourselves and others, the more division we bring.

Set a mission statement for your page(s).

Decide how you want to show up online, write it down and then stick to it. If you want to inspire others, make that commitment to only share inspiring thoughts. This will keep you on task when the noise shows up.

Lastly, mind your energy.

If your mood changes after logging on, take note. Ask yourself, do I feel better or worse than before I logged on? If you feel worse, it may be time to take a break from social media. This can be for a couple hours, a couple days, or forever. Continue to question what impact your social media usage has on your overall feelings.